“Twilight, Breaking Dawn” or why do I keep watching this crap?

Well, for some inexplicable reason I went to see “Breaking Dawn”.  (I blame it on Taylor Lautner.)  And it was pretty much as expected, Bella obsesses, Edward guilts, and Jacob rages.  I hoped for something more engrossing.  But I was doomed to disappointment.

The movie cut straight to the chase, as it were.  Starting right off with Bella and Edwards wedding, then to the honeymoon, and pregnancy.  All of this felt very padded for time.  The entire story could have been covered in a thirty-minute review.  But in true Harry Potter franchise fashion the producers wanted to milk the story for a two-movie deal.

The majority of the movie is spent watching Bella turn in to a human skeleton as her apparently unnatural offspring sucks her life away from the inside.  Even the book’s big moment the “imprinting” is kind of a throw away.

Also, the CGI is bad, a movie this big should be ashamed of itself for skimping on the effects budget.  And the story is nothing, if I had it to do over again, I probably wouldn’t waste my time.

“The Muppets” or man, I miss Jim Hensen

Well, I have to give him credit; Jason Segel has managed to capture the sweet, gentle, charming, but ironic tone of the Muppets.   For at fan like me who grew up, first with Sesame Street and later loved The Muppet Show this was a trip down sentimental movie lane. 

The first half hour in particular was designed to tug at the heartstrings of Muppet lovers, as the movie takes you down memory lane with the newest Muppet character, Walter.  Walter and his brother Gary, played with great earnestness by Segel, are long time fans of the Muppets.  Walter, in particular derives much of his self-confidence from his identification with the Muppets and the Muppet Show.  When Gary decides to take his long, long time girlfriend (Amy Archer, in her usual charming form) to Hollywood for their anniversary, he takes Walter along so that they can both realize their dream of seeing the Muppet theatre.

In usual Muppet fashion, a road trip ensues in which both Walter and Gary learn about themselves and their place in the world.

Studded with star cameos (the most memorable being The Big Bang Theory’s Jim Parsons), “The Muppets” follows the tried and true Muppet formula quite successfully.  I left the show a little teary and nostalgic, remembering what made me love the Muppets so much.

“Immortals” or can I get a side of man candy with that?

Well, I really liked this movie.  Honestly I wasn’t sure I would.  These days when so much is sunk into the effects the movie can suffer.  But this movie was beautiful and brutal.  Sometimes it reminded me in atmosphere of the movie “Titus” with Sir Anthony Hopkins (another movie I HIGHLY recommend).  The costumes and the sets were especially superb. 

The story was cohesive and made sense, a real bonus in this kind of action movie.  There were moments of hyper violence, but not at the expense of the story.  In fact some of the violence was quite balletic.  I found myself mesmerized by a Titan whose body was cut in two, as the top and bottom halves of the body spun slowly in opposite directions, it was fantastic.

The actors were interesting too. Often when you have a period film like this and you have name actors, they sometimes take you out of the moment, and do not seem authentic to the period. In this movie Mickey Rourke, Stephen Dorff and John Hurt, all great actors, but not especially period actors (except for Hurt) were all seamlessly believable. 

The lead actor  Henry Cavill as Theseus, was great, as was Frieda Pinto as the oracle.  And of course everyone was beautiful.  The gods were especially well portrayed and costumed.  I definitely recommend this one.  Though, as usual lately, I think the 3D was a waste of money, and detracted more than added to the movie.